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How to Build Self-Confidence

In this episode, we talk about the benefits of having a healthy self-confidence and some of the practical ways that you can build self-confidence in your own life.  This podcast is based on self-confidence as one of the 52 essentials skills for success in business and life.  If you would like to join us for this 52-week personal development journey, just follow the steps listed below.  Additionally, a transcript of this podcast is available below or you can download it here:

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Resources:

Join the Essential Skills Course:

1.  Download the Essential Skills Personal Assessment and complete it.  The assessment helps you to recognize your areas of strength and the areas for improvement.  This provides a base from which you can move forward.
2. Join the Mind For Life Essential Skills Facebook Group.  As I’m sure you know, any resolution or personal growth plan works better when you are in it with other people.  The Facebook group provides accountability, support, and encouragement to keep going.  It also enables us to explore these skills together and creates a mastermind group that will benefit us all.

 

Give Me The Self-Assessment

 

Building Self-Confidence – Podcast Transcript

 

Hello everybody and welcome once again to the mind for Life podcast. My name is Jeff Bogaczyk ask and I will be your host today where we help you to learn think and live a little bit better. It’s great to have you today.

And we are in the midst of a series on the 52 essential skills you need for success in business and life. And we have started a free course called The Essential Skills course and it’s absolutely free for you to join. It’s basically a personal development journey where we walk through one of the 52 essential skills every week. And for the year of 2018 and we look to improve ourselves and to develop and to get better in each of these 52 areas. And if you’re wondering about the 52 essential skills you can find them at mine for life dot org and click on the 52 essential skills for success in business and life. There’s a link to that right under the start here tab at the very top of the home page. So I want to encourage you to take a look at that. And there’s also a free self-assessment that you can download on the home page and discover yourself. Find out a little bit more about how well you’re doing and each of those 52 areas some of the ones that you do well and some of the ones that you need some help. So if you are familiar with the parade a principle we want to concentrate our areas or concentrate our time on the top 20 percent because that’s where we get the most return.

The bottom 20 percent however is the area that we need to work in. We can work on those things so that’s what this course is about is helping you and I’m walking on this journey together to develop ourselves and get a little bit better in these 52 essential skills. Now you can also join us on Facebook. There’s a mind for life essentials skills Facebook group where we go through different resources every week and there’s a support time there for everyone to kind of like encourage one another to share their thoughts to share resources on the scale that we’re working on that particular week. So there’s a link to that by the way all the links for this podcast including a link to the 52 essential skills can be found at mine for life. Dot org forward slash. 0 4 7. So before we get into it let me just mention a couple of things. First of all our sponsors programs Bluehost dot com if you looking to host a Web site podcast or even start writing a blog maybe your resolution 2013 was to start writing a little bit more Bluehost dot com is the hosting site for you. They provide all of the services necessary for you to get on the web and thrive. And by using our link in mind for life dot org scroll to the bottom the page you can get hosting for three dollars and ninety five cents a month so we encourage you to go ahead and do that if that’s something you’re looking to do. All right let’s get into it.

Self-confidence. One of the 52 essential skills that I believe you need to succeed, to have success in life, I feel is going to be more successful in life – if you go through life with a bit of confidence. Talking about arrogance talking about narcissism quant talking about a baby you might want to call it a quiet deep confidence a belief in yourself. So what is self-confidence and we must make sure that we distinguish it from self-efficacy and self-esteem.

I was talking on Twitter with one of my friends who that we who we had here on the mind for life podcast a couple of weeks back. Dr Bobby Hoffman and when I wrote the article on the top benefits and practical ways to build self-confidence he messaged me on Twitter and asked if I had written that article and I was kind of nervous. I was like you know when an academic… this guy is like a top academic in motivational psychology when he makes a comment I was like oh my gosh did I get something wrong you know. So I texted him back and I was like did I get something wrong on the article and he was like No I really enjoyed it and he said most times when we talk about self-confidence we fail to distinguish between self-confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy. And so I want to just kind of. In a very basic way try to distinguish those for you today on the podcast. Self-esteem is the term which refers to the evaluation of your own self-worth.

What do you think about yourself?

How valuable do you view yourself as a person. So this is self-esteem the value that you place upon yourself self-efficacy. Is about.

How well you can execute specific tasks or courses of action in your life. That enable you to deal with the situations that you encounter so self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations or your belief in your ability to succeed in accomplishing specific tasks. So self-efficacy I would say is a little bit more focused on specific tasks or specific situations.

When we talk about self-confidence, self-confidence is maybe you might say self-assurance and assurance in yourself in your personal judgment in your abilities. And it’s a little bit more general. It’s a general concept of confidence that you have about yourself so not as focused not as particular as self-efficacy and not as general as self-esteem but self-confidence is important in succeeding not just in business because when you see movies or we hear stories about successful businessmen they portray themselves as very confident right. And of course self-confidence is important to succeed in business but also in life in your relationships with other people you need to have a level of self-confidence. And we want to distinguish here between very low self-confidence on one end interview. If you read the article on self-confidence it’s on the Web site as well. You’ll see there’s a graph there about this continuum. This confidence continuum. On one side there’s insecurity on the very low extreme and low self-esteem. And then on the other side of the continuum there is this idea of overconfidence arrogance and narcissism. And guess what people don’t like. People who have perceptions or presents these qualities on either extreme. We kind of feel pity and compassion for those on the lower extreme who are insecure maybe or have a low very low self-confidence. And on the other extreme we dislike people who are narcissistic and arrogant and overconfidence but there’s a mean there is a balance in between what we might call healthy self-confidence and so it’s important to have a healthy self-confidence have a healthy assurance in yourself to have a healthy belief in your abilities.

And there’s also some very positive benefits according to science of having healthy self-confidence I’m just going to run through them very quickly and if you want to find the actual scientific research behind these benefits check out the article. Practical ways to build your self-confidence on mind for life. Dot org. So here there are 12 benefits based on science. So did the research. Looked it up.

1. When you have healthy self-confidence it increases your general well-being it improves your overall well-being and the happiness of your life.

 

2. When you have a good healthy self-confidence, it increases your motivation to do other things. See when you’re confident when you believe in your ability to do something or to accomplish something or the general sense of your abilities in life when you have a belief in that you’re more likely to be motivated to do something to start new tasks. You have a more optimistic view on things to take on bigger challenges when your self-confidence is low you’re a little bit more hesitant. You don’t feel like you can do it. And there’s a bigger obstacle that you must overcome in order to get started.

 

3. When you have healthy self-confidence it improves your overall performance. Science shows that people who are confident perform better. Just think of athletes for example athletes who have to get out on the court or on the field and perform. They’re able to measure their level of performance and compare that with their level of self-confidence and athletes who are more confident perform better. Why you believe in yourself and it helps push you forward rather than a low self-confidence which makes you hesitant. And maybe prevents you from taking risks and doing things that that will increase your performance so healthy self-confidence improves your overall performance.

 

4. It helps you to deal with stress better. The research shows that the higher confidence you have in yourself the more tools you have to deal with the stress factors in your life. You feel optimistic about your ability to handle those things that are causing you stress. If you have low self-confidence stress in your life can just help to you know make that even bigger and cause you more fear that you’re not going to be able to deal with it. So having a good healthy self-confidence gives you tools to deal with stress factors in your life.

 

5. It can lead to better overall health. There’s something to be said about our thoughts about our self and the actual physical well-being that we have in our life. I mean science has shown the placebo effect that when you think you’re taking a medicine even though it’s not a medicine your body reacts positively and in many cases people on a placebo do get better just because they think about it differently so the things that we think actually have real consequences in our physical lives and in your physical health. I’m not saying that if you believe you don’t have cancer you’re not going to have cancer. No but what I what the research does show is that having healthy self-confidence does improve your overall general health.

 

6. Healthy self-confidence can help you to be open to opposing beliefs and attitudes. In other words it makes you more tolerant. In other words when you believe in yourself when you’re confident in yourself and in your own beliefs and your values you’re less likely to be defensive. You’re open to other perspectives. You don’t have to know it all right. So if you have a low self-confidence and someone challenges you automatically you get defensive automatically you put up the walls automatically you maybe lash out against their opinion but having self-confidence you believe in yourself and you’re open to hear what other people have to say. So it does help with that.

 

7. A healthy self-confidence makes you less susceptible to the judgement of other people. When you’re confident in yourself you don’t go through life living for the approval of others and that’s a big thing for people right who go through life trying to do things trying to act in certain ways so that they get the approval of other people. Why do they do that? Because they don’t believe in themselves enough. And so when we believe in ourselves we’re less likely to do things just because we think other people want us to do them or other people will like us more when we like ourselves when we’re confident in ourselves. We’re less separable to the judgement of others.

 

8. Healthy self-confidence makes you more likely to be seen as a leader and an influencer. We all know that the top level leaders and influencers aren’t self-confident people and so we follow them in part because they have a confidence they know where they’re going. They know what they’re doing in life. I remember reading a book talking about relationships. And this gentleman was trying to win the affections of a woman.

But he kept on groveling. He didn’t have direction and vision in life. And that’s not an attractive quality. And so he decided to he shares a story of how he was trying to win this woman and woo her right in court her and she didn’t want to have anything to do with him and finally there was like a trigger that went off in his mind and he said listen I need to stand up here.

Be confident have a vision have a direction for my life and know where I’m going. And he began to develop that attitude. And this woman began to notice a shift in his self-confidence. And you know he said to her hey I really like you. I love to be with you. But if that’s not for you I know what I’m doing. I know where I’m going in life. I’m moving in this direction and that’s the end of it. Well that’s an attractive quality. And she then was attracted then they ended up getting married. Not to say that just because having self-confidence will get you married to someone. However we follow people who are self-confident because it’s an attractive quality so when we have self-confidence it attracts other people and it helps us to be seen as a leader and an influencer.

9. Healthy self-confidence makes you more likely to set higher goals for yourself. Obviously an optimistic perception of your abilities to accomplish certain things will enable you to step out and take risks you believe in yourself more so it will help you to set higher goals. And when you set higher goals and do things beyond your limitations it can even lead to greater accomplishment which then leads to more self-confidence. When we get some wins when we do things and we fulfill them and follow through with them it just builds up more self-confidence right. It’s called a healthy positively reinforced feedback loop. We have confidence to do something we do that thing we’re successful at, and then we have more confidence to do something that may be beyond our abilities that stretches us to go further so we get into this positive loop.

 

10. Healthy self-self-confidence can make you more likable. There’s research on that. We talked about that. However overconfidence, narcissism, arrogance can be detrimental to likability. We don’t like people who are narcissists we don’t like people who are arrogant. It’s just not an attractive quality so there needs to be balance in between their healthy self-confidence which can make you more likable.

 

11. Healthy self-confidence can make you more persuasive. We tend to believe people who believe in themselves. Believe me I know how this works. Somebody can be completely off base. But their belief in themselves causes other people to believe in them when you believe in yourself other people will believe you.

Now that’s called manipulation especially when you know you’re dead or when you’re doing something either manipulation or naivety. Right. And if you are doing something and trying to persuade people knowing that what you’re talking about is not true you’re manipulating them by using your own self-confidence or you’re just stupid and you don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re out there on a limb saying stuff that’s not true but people will follow you because of your self-confidence it tends to make you more persuasive. Obviously if you’ve got nothing to back it up it destroys your credibility. And then we’re talking about ethics which is another effective skill that we’ll talk about later.

12. But self-confidence can make you more persuasive and healthy self-confidence can make you more mentally tough and resilient when you believe in yourself and you believe in what you’re doing it gives you determination to press on during the difficult times. Why. Because you’re optimistic that you can do it you’re optimistic about your abilities to persevere.

Now how can you build self-confidence is coming from someone who as a kid and maybe all of us as a kid struggle with self-confidence. We struggle in ourselves with believing in ourselves and we go through those stages so how can you build self-confidence in your life. To give you 12 steps that I think can really help to build self-confidence:

1. The first one is learn new things. If you don’t know something there is uncertainty and doubt and that is the antithesis of self-confidence. Doubt is not confidence so when you learn new things when you possess knowledge about something when you build an information base about certain things it increases your confidence.

One of the things that greatly increased my own self-confidence was pursuing advanced education.  Going through a master’s degree in leadership helped me to learn new things right and to realize the things that I was doing wrong and when I change those things and begin doing things right. It gave me confidence you know pursuing a Ph.D. helped me to learn new things and gave me greater confidence knowing that now I’ll be one of the things they say about advanced education is when you learn new stuff you start to realize that you don’t know anything right because when you don’t have an understanding of the vast amount of information out there. In other words you don’t know what you don’t know you think you know at all. When you start to learn something about something you begin to realize my goodness. I don’t know anything.

However learning in a particular area diving deep in certain areas gives you greater confidence so if you if you want to get greater confidence dive deep into something become an expert on something learn new things.

2. Number two save money. This is going to sound a little bit odd right. Save money. Well if you think about it one of the reasons we’re not confident is because of a lack of security. When we don’t have the money the basic finances that we need to meet a particular level of sustenance it causes uncertainty. Uncertainty of course is similar to a lack of confidence. We’re not confident.

So if you don’t have enough money to make ends meet you go through life it gives you a it costs you to have doubt about your abilities to provide for yourself or to provide for your family. It causes you doubt about whether or not you’re going to make it in life. So when you save money even a little bit and you get this little bit of money that you know that’s in the bank that’s there. It gives you greater confidence. First of all because you know you’ve got the ability to make funds for yourself.

But second of all it enables you to have a little bit of a little bit of a confidence to take risks and do things to step out. So when you have money when you have these things that are there in the background rather than living paycheck to paycheck and this is a, this is a different this is actually a whole different arena about budgeting and personal finance and things like that. There’s plenty of resources out there that you can check out. But saving money can give you a little bit more confidence.

3. Number three master something so learning new things is one thing but mastering something when you get better at something whatever your field is ok whatever your skill is whatever your vocation is if you’re a teacher and you master teaching you dive deep into it you get better at it you become good at it. You become an expert you gain it builds your confidence you have expertise.

The old adage is 5000 hours or I believe it. Maybe it’s 10000 hours. Gives you expertise and I think that works out to eight hours a day five days a week for five years. If you do something eight hours a day five days a week for five years you are quote unquote considered an expert.

And when you become an expert at something it gives you confidence helps you to overcome impostor syndrome right. And posture syndrome is the idea that we are a fake we’re a fraud.

We’re up here doing this and we don’t know what we’re talking about and somebody is going to discover that about us and the whole thing’s going to blow up. Well to overcome that you develop expertise in an area you master something.

4. Number four get some wins. We’re talking about small wins.  When you have some small successes in life.  It creates a positive narrative about yourself that can build you up and that lead to greater challenge is one of the easiest examples of this is in the Old Testament Scriptures the story of David and Goliath. David was extremely confident in his ability and in his perception that God would grant him the victory when it came to fighting the giant. If you read the narrative there you see him come and say hey, I will take on this giant. I can defeat him. My God will give me the victory.

Well how did he how do you know that right? The King, Saul, was not confident. David. David was confident himself and Saul said how can you be so confident? And what did David say. When I had to fight against the bear I was successful when I had to fight against the lion. I was successful and it will be no different. Right so David had some prior victories. David had some prior successes. He fought against the lion he fought against the bear he was successful. That gave him confidence when it came to fighting the giant.

So there’s a couple of lessons to be learned there. Number one don’t take on the giant before you’ve taken on some smaller challenges and in order to be successful against the giant you find yourself successful in some of the smaller challenges. So for large tasks for large tasks when you have giants in your life break it down into some smaller things get some small wins get some small early successes and that will give you confidence when it comes to taking on the giant. So get some wins.

5. Number five get around uplifting people. The science shows what we naturally expect, what other people say, their feedback about our performance, it affects our confidence. Other people’s feedback about what we do and how well we do it affects our confidence when the people that we care about the most say we’re doing a good job. You did a great job. It gives us confidence. It gives us confidence when the people that we care about say you’re terrible when you have negative people in your life that are constantly bringing you down. It erodes your confidence in yourself.

Now how forcefully to say this but you need to find people in your life to be around that are going to build you up that are going to encourage you that are going to speak positivity into your life because it reinforces healthy self-confidence. Now that doesn’t mean you want yes men in your life or yes women in your life who are just always telling you how great you are. Now there needs to be an amount of realism. But that that that realism needs to be tempered by a positive outlook.

So what does this say? Number one find yourself around other people who are going to be positive influences in your life. Number two be a positive influence to other people. You can help others build up their self-confidence by being a positive influence in their life. Doesn’t mean don’t be realistic. But it means couch that realism with positivity you know give them positive feedback.  Tell them where they did a great job how well they did what their skill sets are that are incredible.  Share that with the people around you and then give them realism as well. But I think you should maybe think about this right. So that’s something you can do to help other people but at the same time you need to find people like that that you can be around in your own life.

You don’t want too much good right someone just constantly telling you good things you start to maybe quote unquote believe the hype right. And think you can do things that are maybe beyond your ability. You want people to challenge you to step forward in incremental steps. That’s where you really grow.

6. Number 6 use positive language how you speak to yourself matters. What you say in the internal dialogue they call it intra personal communication what you say about yourself matters when you say negative things about yourself. When you speak negativity when that voice recorder in your mind says things like you can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. Everything everyone said about you negatively in the past is true. Right. It works against your confidence. And here’s the beauty – you can control that narrative. You can be intentional about what you say about yourself. So here’s what you can do. Write down 20 positive things write them down. And then start to memorize them and rehearse them about yourself to make them unrealistic. Don’t make them untrue.

Anybody, we can all find positive things in we can say positive things and eventually those narratives can start taking over the autopilot narratives that happen so you need to reprogram your thinking but using positive language.

7. Number 7 critique your critical thoughts. We all have critical and negative thoughts about ourselves and as I just mentioned when we have those negative thoughts they can lead to an erosion in our self-confidence. But what I suggest that you do is you ask yourself why that negative thought is and kind of examined it. What are you saying about yourself when you say that negative thing or when you think that negative thing and it would be nice if that whenever we had a negative thought about ourselves there would be a red flash or a light bulb that would go off. That would kind of alert us to it. I think you can kind of train yourself to get to that point where when you start to think negative things about yourself you can develop an awareness to it. So developing an awareness to when you’re having these negative thoughts about yourself can you. That’s the first step. And then you look at those things and say Is that really true?

In other words is what I’m thinking here when I’m thinking this negative thought really true about me or is it just something that someone has once said that has no basis in fact that has no basis in reality. Is it really true? And a lot of times you’ll find the negative things that you think are that you believe about yourself aren’t really based in fact it’s something that someone once said maybe a teacher back when you are younger maybe a parent maybe a friend and you lived your whole life based on this negative thought this negative thing about yourself what you’ve changed you’ve grown you’re different even if it once was true doesn’t mean it is true now.

And if it is true then you can at least at that point start thinking about ways to change it to make it not true anymore so examine those negative thoughts critique them ask if they’re real ask if they’re true and if they are true then strategize ways to change and if they’re not true then you can sort of say this isn’t true about me. I shouldn’t think this anymore. Critique your thoughts.

8. Number 8 improve your appearance. What I mean by this how we dress. How we present ourselves. Is body language really. It’s a form of non-verbal communication. When you dress, you know there’s that phrase dress for success and we say oh yeah well it doesn’t mean anything you know that’s just that’s just some kind of cliché. Not necessarily because the way you present yourself not only communicates to other people it also communicates something back to you about you.

There’s something about dressing nice that gives you a little bit of confidence in yourself. When you dress in a particular way when you improve your appearance what you wear when you get fit. I don’t know if you’ve ever gone to the gym or if you’ve ever started working out but when you start working out when you start trying to get in shape when you start improving your physical fitness it starts to give you a little bit of confidence about yourself. So find ways wear nicer clothes at certain times you know maybe a little bit more than you used to go to the gym work out get in shape improve your nutrition when you eat healthier you feel better and increases your self-confidence.

9. Number nine is watch your postures and gestures. Now this is very similar to what we were talking about when we talk about your appearance your body language communicates to other people about you. You can tell when people are depressed or the day they’re dejected in life why their shoulders are slumped their arms are crossed their legs are crossed are currently curling themselves into the fetal position. Well when they do that when a person does that it communicates to the rest of us that there’s something really they’re not confident there’s something going on in their life. But guess what it also communicates something back to them about themselves when we curl up into the fetal position when we allow those feelings to adjust our body language. It reinforces this negative feeling in this negative thought. How do you get out of that? You change your posture.

There’s research that shows you can improve your self-confidence by changing your posture and there’s a link on our Web site to a TED talk that talks about power posing standing ins in certain ways and sitting in certain ways improving your posture standing up straight and tall and how that really can and that what it does is it communicates not just something to other people and other audiences who see you standing that way but it also reinforces a positive communication about yourself. Back to you. You can change your thoughts by choosing in the same way that you can change your physical body by thinking particular ways by changing your physical body by changing your posture.

You can in turn change your thoughts. So stand up straight use confident gestures. Use power poses all of these things can help to communicate something back to you about you.

10. Number ten know what you believe and know why you believe it. And I’m not talking about particular ideologies or whatever but when you know when you’ve researched what you believe and when you’ve researched why you believe it gives you confidence. In other words when you hear something about something and you go and do the research yourself and you find out what it is and you know why you believe it and you know what it is that you believe it gives you confidence in yourself that you know what you’re doing that you know we’re going that you know what you believe that you know why you believe it. Having really well thought out values and beliefs gives you a foundation a solid foundation in your life that can launch you into other things.

If that path is weak or is easily eroded, right, it can not only undermine your entire belief structure about the world but it can also undermine your belief structure about yourself. Now this doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers to every question in life. No one does.  And there’s a lot of mystery out there and you can leave room for mystery and guess what? Every belief system can be countered in some way. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about communication is that there are two sides to every story.

But if you know what you believe and you know why you believe it even if you don’t know necessarily that it is entirely 100 percent true. I know for example the beliefs that I have about the world and my world view don’t necessarily know that I can prove them with empirical evidence. But I know that there’s reasonable reasons. That’s funny. There’s reasonable, there’s reasonable and ample evidence to believe that my beliefs are true and that what I believe about reality in the world is true and not everybody believes what I believe. But I believe it and I know why I believe it and I know what it is and I’ve got a pretty good way of defending it. That doesn’t mean I’m going to change someone else’s position or I’m going to change someone else to my beliefs. But it really helps to give me confidence that I know what I believe in and why believe it and that there are times when doubt come in of course. But I know deep down that there’s good solid reasons for I believe I’ve done the research understand it and it gives me confidence. So no you believe no I believe it.

11. Number 11 get organized. Chaos is not a good thing when it comes to confidence. And when I talk about chaos I’m not talking about like create the creative person who you know you there’s this stereotype of the creative who doesn’t have anything in order and who’s kind of like floundering through life and we’ll sit down no creative people are very organized in their own way organized detailed people are organized and detailed in their own way.

What I’m saying is get organized in your own way and don’t live a chaotic life when you live a chaotic life and nothing seems to be in your control, it’s not a good way to live when it comes to self-confidence when you don’t believe you’ve got anything in your control that everything is subject everything’s flying up in the air right. That’s not a confidence booster.

But when you get things manageable when you get things organized when you can understand them that helps you to have more confidence. So get organized and I’m talking about whether you’re a get things done person or whether you’re a Pomodoro person or whether you’re a you know Evernote purse or whatever it is that you use to get things organized. Use it do it whatever it is. As long as you can feel organized and you can feel confident that you’ve got things under control and things are manageable that doesn’t mean there’s not going to be times in life when things aren’t manageable but that when you have things that are manageable in life it gives you greater confidence.

12. And then number 12 take some risks taking risks can boost your competence your confidence and this is especially true when you succeed right when you take a risk and you succeed at it, it gives you greater confidence to do other things to take even more risks. But even when you don’t succeed depending on how you look at that risk and when I say take some risk I mean take some realistic risks take some things that yeah some risks that yeah maybe be a little bit outside of your abilities but they’re realistic. They can be done then when you fail depending on how you but that can also be a confidence booster why because it can it can reinforce that you’re a person who is willing to take risks that you are an adventure or that you are someone who is getting out there on the edge right. Just the fact that you took a risk that you stepped out of your comfort zone can be a success in and of itself even if you didn’t necessarily accomplish it. And if you didn’t accomplish the risk then you can assess and say well why it didn’t. It happened why didn’t, why wasn’t I successful and get a realistic perspective.

What you can learn so that you can do better the next time. And if you think about it when you take a risk there’s a realistic risk. There are three options. Second a realistic option when you succeed is a positive option to you partly succeed.

Something happens positive there and in that it’s a positive also. Right. Why. Because you stepped out you took a risk and you were also somewhat successful. The third one is you fail. As partly negative right because you didn’t accomplish what you intended but it’s partly because you say you can believe something about yourself, that you stepped out that, you did something, you did something maybe you wouldn’t do. And it gave you more confidence  to be able to do something the next time when you take unrealistic risks over and over and over again right unrealistic risks or things that you’re most likely going to fail at. And the more failures that you have the more it hurts your self-confidence.  So take realistic risks step out on the edge when you’re successful is a positive. But when you fail it can be a positive.

So I hope this has been a benefit to you.  If you haven’t joined are essential skills course when encourage you to do that this week is self-confidence and there is a resource for you mine for life. Dot org. Click on the start here tab and then there’s a resource page. So there are some wonderful articles and videos and links there that you can check out that all have to do with self-confidence and as we go through this course for the next 52 weeks I’ll be updating that on the different essential skills so we will have some more resources on that page. You can also join us on Facebook. Join the essential skills group community. Click on mindful life dot org slash 047 and you’ll find links to all of those things and I want to thank you so much for listening to this program today. Appreciate you being here and we’ll talk to you next time.